


Santa, won't you bring me the one I really need

by supercali



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Christmas, Fluff, M/M, Mention of Ben but he doesn't appear, Reunion 3.0, a touch of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:01:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28242045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supercali/pseuds/supercali
Summary: Aaron starts receiving mysterious presents for the village secret santa. Who could it be?
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 24
Kudos: 228





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by an idea give to me by @scrapyardboyriends over on tumblr and I hope I've done it justice.

The village always looked so lovely at Christmas, and this year was no exception. Aaron can’t help looking at all the lights as he heads towards the shop, but he doesn’t feel the slightest bit Christmassy. He hasn’t since Robert was sentenced. He had to do his best this year though, for Seb.

“Aaron! Wait a minute.” He’s barely set foot outside the shop when Nicola’s voice rings through the air. “You haven’t signed up to this.”

He looks at the tub she’s shaking at him and scoffs. The village Secret Santa had been the subject of much discussion for weeks and he’d thought he’d got away with it, dodging her as best he can. He barely had time, or the inclination to buy for his family, let alone buying something for a random villager.

“And you didn’t take that as a hint?”

“Everyone else has. You can’t be the only one not taking part. Besides, someone specifically asked about you. They wanted to buy your gifts, so you have to do it.”

“Who was it?” He stuffs his hands in his pockets, making no effort to pick a name from the tub, he could see the annoyance all over her face, completely at odds with the wreath headband she’d planted in her hair.

“I can’t tell you that, it’s a Secret Santa.”

“Well obviously not if someone can pick me specifically.” It was probably his Mum, and he wasn’t sure whether to be mortified or touched. “Nicola, I’ve got a four year old to buy presents for, not to mention Mum and Liv in Dublin, do you think I’ve got time to be buying more just because someone wants to make themselves feel better?”

“Oh no, don’t you play the busy parent card with me Aaron Dingle. I’ve got three kids, four if you count Jimmy,  _ and _ all my council duties. Just pick a name and I’ll leave you alone.”

“It baffles me to this day what Robert saw in you, you know.” He reluctantly pulls a piece of paper out, not bothering to read it, shoving it into his pocket.

“I think we both know what he saw in me and if you insist on bringing my long and should be forgotten past up I’ll make you pick two names.” He laughs. “That’s nice you know, hearing you laugh, and mention him.”

“I mention him plenty, just not where some people can hear. Easier that way you know?” She nods, it’s no secret what his family think of it all. It’s got to the point that he doesn’t mention his name, except to Seb and Vic, and on odd occasions to Cain. His Mum gets that look on her face if he does, even around Seb and he’s had to stop her saying her piece where he can hear her. It’s just not worth the hassle anymore. “Anyway, Merry Christmas Nic.”

“Merry Christmas. Don’t forget, presents have to be delivered on Christmas Eve by five.” With that she’s gone and Aaron’s alone. 

He looks round the village as he wanders up to Vic’s, it’s all lit up for the season and everyone is festive, while he’d rather sleep through until January. He can’t though, not when he’s got a four year old full of excitement about every last bit of Christmas. They’ve done the visit to Santa, Seb nearly pulling his arm off dragging to the gaudiest grotto Aaron had ever seen. They’ve tried baking cookies from Grandma Sarah’s book. They were burnt but Seb didn’t care, his eyes wide as Aaron told him that these were the cookies that his Daddy used to eat at Christmas. It’s not that he hasn’t enjoyed any of it. You couldn’t not when Seb’s face lit up at the first Christmas trees he saw or the awe in his voice as he told Santa what he wanted, and leaned closer to whisper something that Aaron wasn’t allowed to hear. The problem is that he’s doing it all alone. All the things that Robert should be here for, that he’s missing out on, he can’t help but wonder how he is, whether he’s thinking about them.

The only contact he’s had is approval to adopt Seb and even that is through his solicitor. He’s not really surprised, once Robert sets his mind on something, there’s really no changing him, but he’d thought maybe he’d contact Seb, a card or something, but so far there’d been nothing. Seb didn’t seem to mind, content enough with the explanation that Daddy Robert was away for work and couldn’t call them, but that excuse would only last so long, the kid wasn’t stupid, and Aaron didn’t really have the first idea what to tell him when the time came.

“Daddy! Look what I made!” Seb runs out of Vic’s front door, no coat in sight, waving a piece of paper at him. He catches him before he can barrel into his legs, and hoists him into his arms, secret santa forgotten for the moment. 

“Let’s have a look then. Where’s your coat mister?”

“Inside. Look, it’s a Christmas card. Miss said mine was the best!” Aaron suspects that everyones was the best but he takes it from him, a big green splodge is a tree he’s guessing, filled with coloured dots and a star on top. “For you.”

“Me? It’s great bug. I’m going to put it right at the front of the mantelpiece. Did you have a good last day?”

“Yeah! We watched Toy Story and I told Isaac I was getting a Buzz. Santa will remember won’t he?” Aaron rolled his eyes, the film franchise was Seb’s current favourite and a Buzz Lightyear was right at the top of his christmas list, the first thing to be hidden away in the attic.

“Course he will bug. I made sure to remind him the other day. Right, shall we get your coat and get home?” He puts him down, looking at the card again, reading the inside, Daddy Aaron standing out making him smile. 

It’d been a long year since he came back to live with him. The phone call last Christmas just after his Mum and Paddy’s wedding had fallen to pieces had shaken him. Ross and Rebecca had been in an accident, and he was all Seb had, he was the one who had to step up and look after him. It’d been a simple choice, he hadn’t even had to think about it. Now he couldn’t imagine him being anywhere else. The only thing that would make it better would be Robert.

“Are you coming in then or what?”

“Alright Miss bossy boots!” He follows Vic into the house, the smell of baking hitting him as he did. “You’ve been baking again?” 

He and Vic had grown closer when Seb came to live with him, back to the best friends they used to be. Two single parents in the village lent itself to helping each other out and he’d often fetch Harry from nursery on his way to the school to pick up Seb or she’d take the school run when he couldn’t get out of work. It had been tricky at first when she was with Luke but since they’d broken up in the summer they were getting along better. So much so she had invited him and Seb for Christmas lunch. He’d been glad of the offer, a reason not to go up to Wishing Well and he’d jumped at the chance.

“Just practising for the carol concert on Thursday. You’re coming aren’t you?” She looks at him the way she always does, telling him not to argue. “Seb will love it.”

“I’ll see.” He’s tried to get involved, but every time he does he’s just reminded that he’s alone, and in the village he can’t help feeling judged. Sometimes even a noisy four year old can’t stop the Mill feeling empty. “Might see if Moira can have him so I can get the rest of the shopping done.”

“You can shop any time. If anything you should go out, have a night in Hotten or something.”

“Don’t start. I mean it Vic. I can’t take it from you too. It’s all I hear from Mum, from Liv even now she’s in Dublin, even flaming Charity started the other day, as if she’s got room to talk, still moping around after Vanessa. I’m alright on my own yeah?” 

“But you’re not though are you? It’s me, Aaron, you put on a good front for Seb, but I can tell. What about Ben? That never went anywhere.”

“For good reason.” One date they’d managed and he couldn’t help but feel relieved when they both realised that it was never going to go anywhere. He still saw him occasionally, they had the odd pint as mates but that was it, just the way he wanted it.

“No one is going to live up to Robert, of course not, but he’s done what he thinks is best for you and I know my big lump of a brother is an idiot, but he’s done it. He’d hate seeing you like this. Maybe nice and boring is what you need right now?”

“I could say exactly the same to you. You still miss Adam, right?” She nods. “Robert used to say to me, when you know, you know, and...I haven’t...no one has made me think I know. So just let it drop eh. I’m fine. Me and Seb are alright, aren’t we bug?”

“Right.” He nods furiously having reappeared at his side, making them laugh and the tension disappear. “Daddy what’s for tea?” 

“That’s my cue. Come on, get your coat on, it’s freezing out there.”

“By the way, did Nicola catch up with you?” 

“Yes. Was it you?”

“Was what me?” She sounds innocent enough, but he knows she can be just as sneaky as her brother when she wants to be.

“The one who asked for my name which means I have to do this stupid thing.”

“Wasn’t me, I swear.”

“The present thing is fun Daddy.” Seb reappears, one arm in a sleeve, coat hanging off.

“You only like opening them! Come on. See you later Vic.”

*****

It’s not until two days later that he remembers the slip of paper in his pocket, and that’s only when he nearly trips over the box sitting on his doorstep on his way to drop Seb with Moira before he goes to work.

“Ooh what’s that?” Seb’s still pulling his woolly hat on as he bends down to look at the box.

“Looks like a present. You want to open it?”

“It’s too early!” Seb’s scandalised gasp brings a smile to his face.

“I reckon we can break the rules, just this once don’t you?” He carries the box back inside, Seb following on his heels. “There.” Seb rips the paper off in about two seconds and Aaron laughs at his disappointed face when all he sees inside is a pile of black fabric.

“Boring.”

“It’s a hoody.” He tells him, shaking it out. “That’s not boring.” It’s identical to the ones he wears, softer though and he can’t help running his hands over it, before checking the tag that had fallen to the floor in Seb’s rush to open the gift. “Someone didn’t read the rules of the secret santa though did they?” 

“Put it on!” He rolls his eyes but indulges him, almost sighing as he feels the soft fabric against him. It’s not a shabby present by any means, and he can’t deny being curious about who has sent it. It’s not like it’s a secret that he wears them almost all the time so he can’t guess who it might be.

“There. Now, I’m late so let’s get you to Moira’s, Isaac’s probably wondering where you are.”

“But you’ve got to buy a present!”

“I have, have I? And how do you know all about it?” He can’t say he’s surprised that Seb knows about the exchange. It’s all the village has been talking about for weeks and Seb is like a sponge, soaking in information even when he shouldn’t.

“Nana told me. You have a present so that means you have to buy one too, if not your person will be sad. Who did you pick?”

“Let’s have a look.” He unfolds the piece of paper from his coat pocket. “Can you read what that says?”

“Nana! Thats Nana’s name!”

“So it is. What a surprise, eh?” He shook his head, his Mum really wasn’t at all subtle, she’d been on at him for not getting involved with the village events, telling him he couldn’t be a scrooge now he had Seb. “I reckon someone’s getting some coal for Christmas. He grumbles to himself as he takes Seb’s hand.

*****

Before he picks Seb up that evening he stops in at the pub, glad to see it’s fairly empty, but his focus falls on Nicola sitting at the bar chatting to his Mum.

“Hiya love, didn’t expect to see you. Where’s Seb?” For all her comments and looks she adores Seb and once they’d had words about keeping her opinions about Robert to herself she’d thrown herself into the role of Grandma.

“Up at Moira’s. I’ll fetch him in a bit. I know what you’re up to by the way. The both of you.”

“What are you on about love? We’re just talking about Jimmy dropping a bottle of rum all over the floor of the supermarket.”

“So you’re not conspiring to get me into the Christmas spirit?”

“You told me to stop.” He looks straight at her, can usually tell when she’s lying but this time he can’t figure it out.

“So you didn’t leave this at my door this morning?” He unzips his coat to show the hoody underneath and she shakes her head. “So who did.”

“Looks like your secret santa to me.”

“And that’s who?” He turns to Nicola, the confusion growing because if it isn’t his Mum then who could it be.

“I can’t tell you that, it’ll ruin the whole thing.”

“But you said whoever it was asked for me, so you must know! They didn’t just pick the name out of the tub like I did, although it’s really convenient that I got you isn’t it Mum?”

“Well now you’ve spoilt it! You try and do something nice for this village and it gets ruined. Whoever it was Aaron just wanted to do something nice for you and when you find out who it is you’ll realise why. I’m off, night Chas.” He sighs as Nicola flounces out of the bar.

“It’s really not you?”

“No love. It’s nice though don’t you think?”

“Suppose so. I don’t get why someone would pick me, it made sense if it was you but who else would go to the bother, not to mention they clearly have no idea how a secret santa works in the first place!”

“I could think of someone.” He just looks at her, “Ben.”

“Don’t start.”

“I’m not. I’m just saying that he obviously had a thing for you, so maybe he thinks that this is a nice way of saying that. It’s sweet.”

“You might think so. I reckon it’s a bit creepy. You really think it could be him?” He takes a sip of his pint thinking back. It’s been a couple of months since he’d last seen Ben, a quick pint had been all it was, nothing to even suggest anything more. That’s all it had been since they’d agreed to be mates, before he’d got custody of Seb, so why he’d even think, after all this time that there’d be a chance of anything he doesn’t know.

“Like you say, who else could it be?”

“Well, he shouldn’t have bothered.”

“I’m not saying that, and I’m not...look I know you don’t like me interfering but I care about you and I hate seeing you so alone.”

“I’m not alone, I’ve got Seb. He needs my attention right now. He’s still settling in.”

“Aaron, he settled in not a week after you got him back. You’ve done wonders to help him over losing Rebecca. Maybe now it’s time to concentrate on you, that’s all I’m saying. Even if it’s just a pint with a mate.” He knows she’s right, he has isolated himself the past year. Seb’s needs had come first. He’d been so quiet when he came back to live with him, calling out for Rebecca in his sleep, and clinging to Aaron like a limpet. But now, he was like a different boy, confident and funny, he’d happily stay the night with any of the family and had a hero worship of Cain that made Aaron chuckle every time he thought about it. He’d find him sometimes pretending to fix his toy cars like Uncle Cain, or on the farm following him around like a little shadow, Cain with a long suffering look on his face. It was hilarious.

“Maybe. Anyway, I’ve got to go fetch him. He’s been with Isaac all afternoon, I reckon Moira’s pulling her hair out by now.”

*****

The next day dawns and it’s not until Seb goes to pick up the post like he’s started doing every morning since he learnt to read, that he notices another parcel on the doorstep. It’s smaller this time, the envelope clutched tightly into Seb’s hand.

“Another one!” 

“Let’s see what it is then.” He rips into the envelope, Seb climbing onto his knee so he can see. It’s a voucher for kayaking lessons and all of a sudden a wave of annoyance rolls over him. Maybe his mum is right and it is Ben. if it is he’s definitely barking up the wrong tree. Maybe once he’d been interested, although if he’s honest that was more because he felt he had to be. Everyone had mentioned how it had been a year since Robert, how he should give it a go, so he had. It was just awkward dating the guy he’d bullied, it wasn’t even dating, just the odd pint. So if this was him it made no sense at all.

“What’s that word?” Seb asks, snapping him from his thoughts.

“Hmm? Oh, that...kayak. It’s like a small boat. I’ll take you up to the HOP one day and show you.”

“Another boring present.” Is Seb’s only opinion and Aaron laughs. He’s not wrong, it’s not his idea of fun, although he’d enjoyed it that time in Wales with Robert and Liv. He’d spent more time in the water than anything but it had been a laugh. Maybe that was why he’d been less than enthusiastic when it came to Ben, too many memories.

“You think so? You reckon yours will be better?” Seb nods. “Yeah I reckon so too.”

“I told Santa what I wanted and he’ll get it right.”

“Have you told me all of it? Just so I can make sure he does his job right.”

“I can’t tell you or it won’t come true. Santa said.” Aaron thinks that santa sounds a bit of an idiot, but Seb looks determined so he knows he won’t get it out of him. Not that he needs anything else judging by the piles of presents waiting to be wrapped in the attic.

*****

“Alright?” He jumps a little as Cain slips into the pew beside him a couple of days later, looking distinctly uncomfortable at having to spend time in the church.

“Yeah. Didn’t expect to see you here.” He slips his phone into his pocket, watching as the vicar lines the kids up at the front. He’s sure he’ll remember his name one day, but he’s like everyone else, still getting used to it not being Harriet any longer. He smiles at Seb who catches his eye, clutching his homemade christingle tightly in his hands, jostling a little with Isaac next to him. They’d spent the morning creating it after Aaron had made a hasty search on Google. It looks a bit lopsided and not as neat as some of the others but Seb had been proud of his creation and that was all he cared about.

“Moira’s doin’ the last minute deliveries. You got any ideas of what goes on at these things?”

“Have you never been to a carol service before? You sing Cain.”

“Very funny. What’s this your Mum tells me about you havin’ an admirer then?” He can’t help rolling his eyes. “She reckons it’s that lad you went out with.”

“We didn’t go out. We had a drink, a few drinks and that was it. She wishes it was something else more like. I reckon she’s right though, got this didn’t I.” He’s been carrying the voucher around ready to give it back to Ben if he sees him around. His Mum’s words have got into his head, that it’s some misguided attempt to declare his feelings, and Aaron isn’t impressed. He doesn’t like being manipulated. “Dunno who else would send me this of all things.”

“Want me to have a word?”

“You’re alright. I can fight my own battles.”

“I know that. You’re not that lippy kid who turned up on the doorstep anymore, are ya? You’ve turned into a pillar of the community and all that now. Right proud of you I am.”

He feels his cheeks grow hot. Cain’s always been the one member of the family he’s seeked approval from over anyone else. He’s probably closer to him than anyone else in their clan, even his Mum some days. Even more so since he lost Robert, Cain being the only one who seemed to get it, that you don’t just get over someone, you can’t just brush them out of your life. He let him talk and didn’t press his own advice on him.

“Pack it in.”

He goes to say something else but there’s sounds of a scuffle from the front of the church and he sees Isaac stumbling into Dotty and her pushing him, sending his christingle flying across the floor. He pulls his jumper over his mouth trying to muffle his laughter until Cain starts and then he can’t stop. Pearl tapping them on the shoulder and shushing them only makes it worse.

He decides that carol services aren’t that bad after all.

*****

Aaron’s starting to get annoyed with the presents by the next day. The day before had brought a case of his favourite beer, not the stuff he drank in the pub, this was from a micro brewery just outside Hotten. For a moment he’d entertained the idea that Robert had set the whole thing up from inside because he was sure the only person who knew he liked the brand was him, but even Robert with his endless contacts surely couldn’t pull this one off. He must’ve mentioned it to someone else at some point and forgotten about it. The day before that had been a batch of Christmas biscuits which offered him no clues, although he and Seb had enjoyed eating them.

Seb was just as unimpressed with the beer as he had been with the kayaking lessons and he found himself hoping that if anything arrived today it was something he’d be interested in. It was sweet how invested in the whole thing Seb was, and the last thing he wanted was a tantrum on his hands.

He wraps his hands around his mug while he waits for him to get up. It’s going to be their day today. A visit to the winter wonderland in Leeds, and then hot chocolate and Christmas films, just the two of them. He’s trying to start some traditions, has no idea what Ross and Rebeccca might’ve done the previous year, but he wants Seb to have good memories to look back on. Every day he wonders if he’s doing a good job, wishes there was someone to tell him he was. His Mum did, but she’s totally biased. Cain’s words at the carol service had made him feel better about it all. Cain didn’t hand out praise for nothing. Even so, the one person he wanted approval from, reassurance that he’s doing a good job was the one person it was impossible to hear from.

“Daddy!”

“Morning bug. Are you ready for our day?” He looks adorable, all sleepy and still clutching his toy giraffe as he climbs down the stairs. “I looked it up and there’s a carousel we can go on, you know with the horses. Do you fancy it?”

“Yeah! Is there a present today?”

“I don’t know, shall we look?” He picks him up, the morning clinginess still a habit Seb won’t grow out of. “Do you know who it is yet Mr Detective?” 

It’d been cute, watching Seb make a game out of the present situation. While Aaron was embarrassed by the whole thing Seb loved it, and every morning made a big deal of checking the present over thoroughly for ‘clues’ and reporting back to Aaron when he was done. When they’d been out and about in the village he’d walk right up to people and ask if they were sending his Daddy presents, mortifying Aaron in the process.

“I think Aunty Vic.”

“You do? She told me it wasn’t her, but you know what, she’s sneaky just like your Daddy so maybe you’re right. We’ll have to keep a close eye on her won’t we to see if she leaves us any clues.”

“We should ‘terrogate her.”

“Where on earth did you learn that word?” He asks him as he opens the front door, the cold hitting him, making him shiver.

“Uncle Cain.” Aaron really didn’t want to know. Maybe he needed to have words with Cain about child appropriate conversations. “Daddy look!” Just like every other day in the past week, was a box sat on the doorstep. He looks around as he always does, but there’s no one in sight.

“Let’s get it inside before we turn to icicles then.”

Seb wriggles out of his arms and runs back inside leaving him to follow. He’s knelt up at the table by the time Aaron reaches him, his sleepiness forgotten about.

“There you go.”

He sets about making himself another cuppa as he watches Seb rip into the present with all the determination a four year old can muster, almost dropping the mug as Seb pulls the gift free of the wrapping.

“Oh!” He’s frozen in place, just staring down at the box as Seb exclaims in excitement.

It’s a Christmas jumper. It’s all he can do to smile and send Seb to brush his teeth, before picking it up. It’s bright red, his size and the slogan on the front reads  _ ‘all I want for Christmas is Yule’ _ . He has to sit, still clutching it to him. The memories are flooding him, him and Robert reluctantly wearing their jumpers that first year, staying in them all day at Wishing Well, delightedly throwing them onto the floor that night. Then the following year, the Santa hoody that had hurt so much, that he couldn’t part with, ripping open them together the next year, back together and everything seeming so perfect.

Could it really be from him though, and why. He’d cut him off, sent him divorce papers for Christmas last year. It was almost like a sick joke. He can’t even contact him to find out.

No, it’s just a coincidence. Christmas jumpers aren’t exactly a rare thing to give someone. It could still be anyone couldn’t it, even Ben, although he’d denied it when he’d run into him in the pub. It couldn’t be Robert. He had to tell himself that, couldn’t keep on wondering.

“Daddy, can you help me?”

He dropped the jumper onto the table, resolving not to think about it anymore and went to help Seb get ready.

*****

“What do you reckon, bug? Ready to go to Nana’s and play with Eve?” Seb’s staring out of the window as he comes down the stairs with his little rucksack in hand on Christmas Eve.

“It’s not here yet.”

“What isn’t?”

“The present!” The little boy climbs down from the windowsill, mouth downturned almost into a scowl and Aaron pushes back a laugh.

“We don’t know there’ll be a present mate, but I do know there won’t be any from Santa if I don’t get you to Nana’s in time for me to take them to him, so chop chop.”

“But Daddy…” Aaron couldn’t believe just how much he sounded like Robert when he sulked.

“No buts.” He holds out his coat, chuckling to himself as Seb sulkily puts his arms into the sleeves. “Right, hat on. If there’s a present I’ll leave it for you to open when you get back. How’s that?”

“Promise?”

“Double promise.”

“Triple promise!”

“Quadruple promise to the moon and back with a cherry on top. Now come on, if you’re lucky Marlon might make you some Christmas nuggets while I’m gone.”

He’s hoping he can get in and out of the pub as quick as possible, not ready for another argument about Christmas lunch. His Mum, predictably, had gone mad when he’d told her they were going to Vic’s, and ever since had been trying everything to convince him to change his plans. He wouldn’t even be leaving Seb with her if Vic didn’t have plans, to save himself the earache.

“Aaron, hang on a minute.” His hand is on the back door, when she stops him, having left Seb in the kitchen pestering Marlon for food.

“I need to get into town Mum.”

“You can spare me a minute. I want to talk to you about tomorrow.”

“I told you, we’re eating at Vic’s. She’s got it all arranged now, I’m not lettin’ her down.”

She huffs. “Fine, but I’ve got presents for you both, you know I love that boy.”

“I know. I never said we wouldn’t come over, but we’re not doing the whole family craziness at Zak’s. Seb’s not ready for that, it’s too much.” 

“So I will see you?” He rolls his eyes, because they’ve talked about this over and over already.

“Of course you will. We’ll be over about ten.” 

“Good. You know I worry...that’s why…” He hugs her, he knows she cares.

“I know. Now, I really have to go. His lordship added two more things to his list last night and if I don’t get them Christmas will be totally ruined so he tells me.”

“You’re a good Dad. Oh, any more presents arrived?”

“Not you as well! No, nothing.” He felt like he was the talk of the village. It wasn’t helped by Seb updating anyone he saw on his Daddy getting more presents than anyone else. “I’ll pick him up after tea, yeah?”

*****

It’s there when he gets back, arms full of bags from his trip to Hotten. No one tells you that when you have a kid you need some kind of SAS training to deal with a toy shop on Christmas Eve. He can’t deny being pretty proud of how he’d outwitted another father and reached the last garage playset on the shelf, although he’d felt the bloke’s glare all the way to the checkout. Still, Seb had his toys and that was all he cared about. Now all he had left to do was wrap them and stow them away in the wardrobe until he was asleep.

He steps over the gift as he lets himself in, dropping the bags inside the door before turning to pick it up. He looks around, can’t see anyone, he never can even when he’s kept watch with Seb. It’s too much to hope for really, that he’s right, but still there’s that spark as he pulls the paper from the box, he’ll wrap it back up later for Seb but his curiosity has gotten the better of him. All he sees as he opens it is a black rectangle nestled in tissue paper but as soon as he lifts it free he knows what it is. It’s a car tracker. No one else would know the significance, it can only be him.

His head shoots up as he hears footsteps on the gravel and even though he’s worked it out his heart jumps when he sees Robert in front of him. He looks just the same, maybe a bit thinner, hair flat on his head, but apart from that it’s his Robert.


	2. Chapter 2

He doesn’t know what to say, and he’s frozen to the spot, can’t quite believe what he’s seeing, expects him to disappear if he so much as blinks.

“Hi Aaron.”

“I…”

“Can we maybe go inside?” He wants nothing more than to invite him, to ask him how he is, get him to explain everything, but right at that moment something stops him. Right that second he doesn’t want Robert there. It would be so easy to just run into his arms and pretend nothing had happened but at the same time all he can think of is the crushing agony of getting the divorce papers and now Robert’s just turned up as if nothing had changed. He’d got rid of him as soon as he could after going to prison and now he was back. He couldn’t deal with it.

“No.” He doesn’t stop to look back, just slams the door behind him, finding his hands are shaking as he picks up the discarded bags.

He half expects to find Robert still outside when he goes to collect Seb. He’s regretted turning him away since the door slammed shut but he can’t make himself go and find him even though there’s a knot of fear in his stomach that Robert would’ve disappeared, would’ve left the village after the rejection. It’s only a text from Vic as he’d been putting his coat on that relieved his fear.

_ *If you’re wondering, he’s with me. What did you say to him, Aaron? He’s in bits.* _

He doesn’t reply, but he’s glad that Robert’s with Vic. He knows they’ll have to talk, he’ll want to see Seb if nothing else, but he needs to work out how he feels first. Is Robert going to want to take Seb? He can’t lose him, he’s the only thing keeping him going, the only person putting a smile on his face. Does he want to get back together? The presents would suggest he does, but what if they’re just a way in, to see Seb. He doesn’t know and it scares him because he doesn’t know if he can handle any more rejections.

He finds Seb in the backroom of the pub with Eve, covered in flour and his Mum frantically trying to clear up the mess.

“What’s all this then?” He hopes she can’t read him, that she won’t see there’s something wrong. She’s the last person he wants to talk to about Robert, not before he sorts his own head out.

“We made cakes!”

“So I see. The mix is meant to go in the bowl though.” He ruffles Eve’s hair as he passes and she glares at him as she always does, not old enough to understand that it’ll make him do it all the more. “You about ready to go home bug?”

“You can stay for a cuppa love, surely?”

“I’ve still got a lot to sort, Mum. You’ll see us tomorrow won’t ya? Come on Seb, wash your hands and get your coat on.” He ignores his Mum’s pleading look. If he stays he’ll crumble and tell her everything, and he knows what she’ll say. 

He lets Seb’s chatter wash over him as they walk home, half an eye on Keeper’s as they pass, wondering if Robert’s seen them, whether he’ll come after him again. Part of him wants him to, the other dreads it. He doesn’t though, they don’t see anyone on their way home and soon he’s caught up in Seb’s excitement.

“Did the present come Daddy?” He’s making their tea when Seb comes down the stairs.

“Oh, um, yeah, it’s on the table there, see.”

He watches him open it, can’t help smiling at his face when all he finds is a black lump of plastic and metal.

“What is it?”

“It’s a tracker. You put it on your car and if you lose it you know where it is. Not very exciting eh?” Not to a four year old. To him it means something, a reminder of everything, of the day his life changed forever.

“I don’t think this person is very good at buying presents.” He doesn’t know just how wrong he is.

“Well...we did lose the car in Tesco’s once, didn’t we, do you remember?”

“You said bad words.”

“You’re right I did. But I put the money in your moneybox didn’t I? So what we could do is put this on our car, and then we won’t lose it again, and I won’t have to pay you for the bad words.”

“Ok. Sweets would’ve been a better present though.”

“You would say that you little gannet. Come on, clear that away, your tea’s ready.”

*****

Seb’s finally asleep when there’s a knock at the door. He’d been thinking long and hard about how to tell Seb his Dad was home but he hadn’t come up with a good way of doing it before it had been bedtime. He knows he has to, he can’t and won’t keep them away from each other whatever happens between them. He was exhausted though, getting Seb to bed had been a feat in itself and that was after everything before. He wouldn’t miss it for the world though. Seb standing on tippy toes to hang his stocking on the fireplace and carefully set down the plate of mince pies and a carrot. He feels guilty that Robert has missed it, mad at himself for not talking to him, letting him see it for himself. He’d made sure to take loads of pictures though.

He’s surprised to see Vic at the door, had expected Robert, trying again.

“I’m tired Vic.”

“Tough. You couldn’t even talk to him Aaron? I had to all but force him to stay. He was all ready to get the next bus out of the village and I doubt he was planning on coming back.”

“What?”

“He only stayed because I begged him. I’m not losing my brother again Aaron. You need to talk to him.”

“Vic, he turned up after driving me crazy with these presents. I thought it was my Mum, Ben and all the time it was him. Why couldn’t he just come home right away? Why play silly games.”

“Because he’s Robert. When has he ever taken the easy way? I know you still love him and I know that you don’t want him to go any more than I do, so go and talk to him. Before it’s too late.” He knows she’s right, he can’t bear the thought of losing him but he still has no idea what he’s going to say or where to start.

“What about Seb?”

“I’ll stay.” He nods, Seb doesn’t really wake up in the night so he won’t miss him.

“He’s at yours?” He’s already putting his coat on as she answers.

“He’s watching Harry for me. I told him I had to nip to the pub for some flour. Now go.”

“Thanks Vic.”

He makes his way up to Vic’s, the village quiet, everyone either in the pub or with their family, the street lit by the Christmas lights. The memory hits him as he passes the garage, the last time he walked this route to speak to Robert, to get him back. It had worked then, he just wasn’t so sure this time.

Had Robert really been willing to leave, his family, Seb, just because Aaron hadn’t wanted to speak to him, would he really give all that up. He doesn’t know why he’s questioning it, he knows what Robert would do for him. It isn’t that he doesn’t want to take him back in a heartbeat, of course he does, never wanted to give him up, but the shock of seeing him standing there had thrown him and he’d acted on instinct to shut out the problem. But now he had to fix it, to man up as Cain might say and deal with it.

“Santa bring you anything good today then?” He looks up to see Nicola standing outside the cafe smile in full force.

“Something like that. You couldn’t warn me?”

“Now where’s the fun in that?”

“Because him turning up on the doorstep was just what was needed? What if...what if I’d been with someone? How would he have felt.”

“Oh please. It’s been two years and you’ve not been near anyone for more than five seconds! The two of you are as bad as each other. Do you know why I went along with it, something that be honest isn’t my style.”

“Go on.” 

“Because he spent half an hour on the phone telling me how much he regretted what he’d done, oh not whacking that scumbag, quite rightly, but cutting you off, leaving you. Sickening really. Now don’t be an idiot and get in there and talk to your husband.” She walks past him with a smile on her face.

“Nicola. Thanks.” She ignores him as he expected, never one for compliments was she, and he walks up to Vic’s front door.

The door opens before he has chance to knock, Robert looking shocked and a little apprehensive, his hair all over the place as if he’d been running his hands through it all day.

“We need to talk.”

“You better come in. Harry’s asleep so…”

“It was you? The presents?”

“Yeah.” He replies shyly.

“Why?” His head is spinning and Robert’s not making any move to explain or do anything other than stand near the door, almost as if he’s still got his escape all planned. “You haven’t escaped have you?”

“No.” He huffs out a laugh. “I promise I haven’t escaped. You’re not going to have the police at your door.”

“So...how?”

“How? Turns out I didn’t kill him.” His mouth twists a little. “Someone else got that pleasure. Turns out it was Luke.”

“What? But...he was...he and Vic were…” He trails off, not sure how much Robert knows about what’s been going on while he’s been away. He hadn’t thought about Luke Posner since he and Vic had broken up the previous summer, only feeling happy that finally he and his witch of a mother had finally left the village. Now he almost wishes they hadn’t so he could see the look on her face.

“I know. Nicola filled me in on a few things and Vic’s told me the rest. I don’t have all the details, all I know is he couldn’t live with it any longer and confessed. My sentence was reduced to time served for GBH given I did actually…”

“Whack him with a shovel.” It felt weird to joke about it, to be sitting talking to Robert about it like this. He doesn’t know what to feel or what to do.

“Yeah. This is...I...suppose I thought...”

“What, that I...wouldn’t give you time of day? Didn’t really, did I? But thankfully your sister knows us both too well. She reckoned you were going to run just because I didn’t fall at your feet straight off. Prison didn’t cure you of being an idiot then?” He collapses into the chair, looking pointedly at Robert until he sits opposite. “If you thought I wouldn’t want to see you, why the presents?”

“I don’t know, it just felt like a good idea at the time. Did it bother you?”

“A bit. I didn’t know who they were from. You know I don’t like surprises.”

”You didn’t think they were from Ben then?” He looks up, can’t read Robert’s face. “Vic might’ve mentioned him. I asked, had to make sure I wasn’t stepping on any toes.”

“That’s never bothered you before.”

“Yeah well, maybe I’ve changed.”

“Ben wasn’t anyone. Only thought it was him because of the kayak lessons.”

“Right…” He can hear the unasked question and rolls his eyes.

“He’s a kayak instructor, that’s how we met...well recently anyway. So I thought…”

“Oh. I just wanted to remind you of our holiday.”

“You did, but like I said I didn’t want to think it could be you, didn’t think it  _ could _ be! Anyway me and him It was never going to work for a lot of reasons, most of all I wasn’t over you and just seeing him up at the HOP reminded me of that holiday. But still, strange presents turning up at the door is a bit creepy when you don’t know who they’re from.”

“I suppose it is, yeah.”

“It’s not the worst idea you’ve ever had, I suppose, looking back now. Anyway, Seb loved it, and everyone in the village has had a good time with it.” 

“You must’ve hated that.” That little smile is back and it relaxes him some more.

“Yeah. What was today’s all about...well obviously I know but…”

“The tracker is where it all started isn’t it? It was silly.”

“No, it wasn’t. It’s mad really when you think about it, how we started, what we got through.”

“But we did. Maybe I was trying to recapture something, or bring back some good memories, I don’t know, it seemed like a good idea at the time. I’d just got out and didn’t know where to go, where I’d be welcome. I knew Vic had been with Luke, she’d told me that much, so for all I knew she could be with him still, standing by him or whatever, and you...well I didn’t...you could’ve been with...whoever.” For the first time he notices the slight shake of Robert’s hands, the extra lines on his face, his front slipping a little like it always had with Aaron in the past. 

“Rob.”

“I know now that wouldn’t have been an issue but I wouldn’t have blamed you if you had. So I called Nicola, asked if she could transfer some of my haulage money so I could at least buy myself something decent to wear, to maybe find a hotel until I could get myself together and while she was giving me all the gossip I found myself wondering. I wanted to do something nice, maybe I was just putting off the inevitable, I don’t know.”

“You really have been driving me mad, trying to figure out who it was.”

“Sorry.” For a split second the old Robert is back, the smug grin when he knows that Aaron secretly likes something, but it’s gone before he can commit it to memory.

“No you’re not.”

“I wanted to do something nice for you.”

“Why? Because you cut me off? Made me question every moment between us because that’s what happened. You thought a few presents could fix that? It never did Robert. I never wanted  _ things _ . All I wanted was you, and you took that away. You divorced me and a few bits and pieces isn’t going to take that away.” He supposes he has no right to shout, but the words are out before he can stop them.

“You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. You should probably go then.” He gets up and all of a sudden a wave of panic comes over him that if he leaves he won’t ever see him again.

“Wait! I didn’t mean...I don’t hate you or whatever you’re thinking now. I just... Just tell me why. I know what you said in your letter, but we didn’t have to end. I would’ve been there Robert. You didn’t even give me that chance to prove it.”

“Because I knew you would. Don’t you see? You would’ve turned up at the prison every month or whatever, I didn’t doubt that for a second Aaron, didn’t doubt you, but that’s no life for anyone.”

“Nor is being tossed aside like a piece of rubbish. That’s how I felt Robert. Like I meant nothing.”

“Is that why you slammed the door in my face? To make me feel just a little bit of that, because if you did then it worked.” He hates how well he knows him because maybe that was part of it, the feeling of rejection. “You meant...you  _ mean _ everything Aaron. That never changed. Not for a second.” He looks around the room, looking like a lost little boy and Aaron can’t help mourning that confidence that’s seemingly gone. “I messed up but I did it for the right reasons.”

“I know. Still hurt though.” He takes a deep breath. There’s no point raking over old ground, not now at least. He knows if Robert’s hanging around it’ll come out again, it’s bound to but right now he just wants to, well he doesn’t really know what he wants, but he knows he has to pick Seb up soon from the pub and has to work out what to tell him. “What about you...how are you?”

“Better now I can breathe fresh air whenever I want.” He hesitates, scratching at his arm distantly. “It was prison. I got through it.”

He nods, he knows the feeling, once you’re out you don’t want to talk about it. It’s something else they can come back to because he’s determined now that Robert isn’t going anywhere, not again. He can barely keep up with how his mood is changing, but he does know he’s not letting him go again, he couldn’t handle it.

“When did you get out?” He asks after they’ve sat in silence for what seems like hours.

“About two weeks ago. I’ve been stopping down in Southampton, once Nicola sorted me out some of my money I booked into a hotel, needed to get used to being out, being able to do what I want when I want.”

“You could’ve come home.”

“Like I said, I didn’t know I had a home. I’d been thinking all sorts, and anyway I had to get my head on straight first. But I’m here now...if I’m welcome.”

“Idiot.” He didn’t even need to give it a second thought, despite his outburst. “I know I slammed the door in your face pretty much but surely you know I’d never turn you away, not for good.”

“What are you saying?”

He takes a deep breath, there was never really any doubt, not once he stopped to calm down and think clearly. “That if you want, for you to come home, where you belong.”

“Don’t...Not unless you’re sure. Before...you said...”

“Forget what I said, I was just angry...no not even that. Surprised, probably and it just came out. Of course I’m sure. I wouldn’t have let you go in the first place, remember?” He sits forward, elbows resting on his knees. “Will we probably fight about this again? Yes, and yeah, we need to talk stuff through, but you’re home Robert. Nothing else matters. Not a single thing.”

“What about Seb?”

“He’ll be beside himself. We talk about you all the time.”

“Just like that?”

“Yeah. He loves you Robert. Trust me. You can come home right now and you’ll see.”

“You should talk to him first. Maybe...maybe I could see him tomorrow just for a bit. I’ve got a couple of presents for him. I don’t know if they’re right or not but it’d be nice to see him. It’s the first time...” It hadn’t even occurred to Aaron that it would be Robert’s first Christmas spent with Seb and he felt his heart break a little, reaching out and covering Robert’s hand with his.

“He’ll love it, whatever it is. Tomorrow then, if you’re sure.” He can tell Robert’s starting to feel overwhelmed, knows the feeling all too well, but after so long it must be so much worse for him.

“I don’t know what you’ve got planned, the full Dingle do, no doubt, but maybe a couple of hours or something.”

“No...we were coming here. Don’t get me wrong, he’s fine with my lot, worships Cain of all people, but all of them together...I thought for his first Christmas since he lost Rebecca it should be quieter. Maybe, if Vic agrees, we can shift it to Mill? It was only ever going to be the four of us now Liv’s in Dublin, and I know your sister well enough to know she’s got a mountain of food, but we should spend it at ours, the five of us, in your home.”

“Are...are you really sure?” He hates how timid he sounds, so unsure of being allowed to see his own son.

“Robert, it’ll be the best Christmas present he could get. Trust me.”

“What’s he like?”

“He’s brilliant. Smart, and funny, but he’s got a caring side too. He asked me a few weeks back if you’d get Christmas presents where you were.” The last thing he expects is Robert to have tears in his eyes. “Hey, don’t.”

“I’ve missed so much Aaron, all because I couldn’t keep my temper.”

“Rob, listen to me, it doesn’t matter. Ok it does, but you’ve got the rest of his life to make up for it. He’s not going to remember that you weren’t there for a tiny bit of it.”

“Vic told me, Rebecca stopped you seeing him. I’m sorry, if I’d thought she’d do that I would’ve done something.”

“I know. I reckon Ross was behind it you know. Anyway like I said, doesn’t matter now.”

“And he’s ok, after losing Bex?”

“I think so. I’m not an expert but he seems happy enough and his teachers all seem pleased with him. He was quiet at first but I suppose you would be if you’re suddenly taken from your home to a new one with someone you haven’t seen for months. Trust me when I say he’s making up for that now. He’s friends with Isaac and Dotty. The three of them are demons sometimes but the two of them have helped him settle in this past year. Like I said, he worships Cain.”

“Not sure how to feel about that one.” He laughs at the look on Robert’s face.

“Fair point, but he’s really good with him, he’s helped me more than I can say, I had no clue what I was doing when they let me have him but Cain’s been there all the way through.”

“I can’t even begin to thank you for taking him…”

“Robert stop before I smack you one. He’s mine, he was from the minute I held him. No matter what happened between us, that was never going to change. So don’t thank me for looking after our son.”

“You really don’t ever get how amazing you are do you?” He smiles, that quirky little smile of his and it warms something in Aaron. However much he might find Robert has changed, he’s still his Robert. 

“Shut up.” He looks at the clock. “I should probably go, let Vic get back.”

“Tomorrow then? If you’re definitely sure.”

“I’m sure. I expect he’ll be up early, but come over...say nine? Gives me chance to talk to him first Then Vic can follow later? I’ll talk to her when I get back. He’s going to be so surprised.” He watches as Robert’s face lights up in a smile, the first proper one since he first laid eyes on him.

“Yeah, sounds perfect.”

“Robert.” He calls out as he starts to leave. “I missed ya.” He can’t help himself, he grabs hold of his arm and pulls him closer, leaning to place a kiss on his lips.

“Missed you too. More than you’ll ever know.”

With that he makes himself leave, can’t help looking back and seeing Robert watching with a smile. For the first time in ages he feels totally calm, like nothing is weighing him down. 

*****

It’s not even an hour later when he calls Vic, has no idea if Robert still has his or has a new one. She doesn’t even speak, just hears his voice and hands the phone to Robert.

“Aaron? Everything ok?”

“I...I haven’t figured out what to say to Seb.”

“Are you saying you don’t want me to come over?” He can hear the disappointment in his voice and wants to kick himself.

“No, that’s not what I mean. I just...maybe you should just come over and we’ll tell him then. I know the minute I tell him he’s going to want to see you, and to be honest the thought of him sprinting up Main Street to Vic’s in his dinosaur pyjamas isn’t really what I’m after.”

“You think he would?”

“I think he’d be gone before I even got the words out. It’ll be fine, just come over like we said.”

“Alright.”

“Did I wake you? You sound tired.”

“Just the day catching up with me. Playing with Harry wore me out. I forgot how fast kids can move. I don’t think he stayed in one place for more than a second all evening!”

“Just you wait until tomorrow.” He tells him with a laugh, happy that Robert joins in. “I missed this.”

“What, late night phone calls?”

“Well yeah, but really, just talking to you, hearing your voice. I should let you sleep though.”

“Yeah. I think Vic will have us all up at the crack of dawn. She’s such a kid. G’night Aaron.”

“Night Robert.”

*****

He wakes the next morning, on the sofa, having failed to make it to bed, too busy thinking everything over, needing to be sure he was doing the right thing, for all of them. He couldn’t promise Robert the world and then take it back because he hadn’t thought things through properly. They had to get it right this time. When he looks up Seb’s standing over him, eyes wide with excitement.

“Daddy look! This was at the bottom of my bed.” He’s still blinking the sleep away when Seb swings his stocking onto the sofa, narrowly missing Aaron’s ribs. 

“Wow! Reckon Santa thought you’d been the best behaved boy this year, eh?” Seb nearly nods his head off, still clinging tightly to his prize as if waiting for permission. “You can open them bug.”

“Where’s yours?”

“I’m going to open mine later with Nana and then Aunty Vic.”

“And Daddy gets presents today? Like you said.” Like he’d told Robert he’d asked that a few times in the run up to Christmas and he’d just told him that he’s sure he would, couldn’t tell him the truth after all.

“Yeah bug, he’ll get presents today.” He swallows back the lump in his throat thinking how different it would be if Luke hadn’t grown a backbone and confessed. How close they’d been to losing Robert for years more, possibly forever. “Me and Aunty Vic were talkin’ and we thought instead of going to her house today, she and Harry would come here. How about that? You can show him all your new stuff.”

“Ok. Look! Santa got me the game I asked for.”

“He’s not bad really is he, that Santa. Are you going to tell me what you whispered to him about yet?”

“Nope!” He giggles at the last present he opens, a robot toy from one of his favourite shows that makes a noise that Aaron’s going to be thoroughly sick of by Boxing Day. “Done!”

“I suppose you’ll be wanting food now too?” At his nod Aaron tackles him, tickling him until he’s squealing loud enough to wake the neighbours.

*****

By half past eight he’s too nervous to sit. He’s managed to convince Seb to leave the bigger presents under the tree until Vic arrives, through a combination of persuasion and bribery with his favourite breakfast. He hasn’t been able to force anything down other than a cup of tea that he’d let go cold. He doesn’t know why he’s nervous, he knows Seb will be happy to see his Dad, there’s no doubt about that, but even so he can’t settle.

They’ve also got to run the gauntlet of visiting the pub. Seb isn’t going to keep quiet about Robert being back and the last thing he needs is his mum kicking off. He’s sure Robert won’t want to go with the two of them, but he doesn’t want Seb overhearing anything she might have to say. Part of him wishes he hadn’t suggested he come over, that he could put it off. He wants it to be perfect, like Robert deserves.

The knock at the door stops his travels down that road and he blows out a breath.

“I’ll get it! P’raps another present!” Seb mumbles around his last bit of toast. He looks a state, somehow managing to get chocolate spread round his mouth and crumbs in his hair.

“You need to wash your mouth mister. Go on, I’ll get the door.”

When he’s gone, Aaron goes to the door, smiling as he sees Robert, shifting nervously from foot to foot. He looks more like his old self, hair just so and dressed more like he used to, his usual shirt and sweater all neat and tidy.

“Mornin’. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas Aaron.” He hesitates as Aaron moves away from the door. “This is still ok isn’t it?” He realises he’s nervous and it makes him sad, that the usually confident Robert is nervous about seeing his own son.

“Yes. Come on, he’s upstairs. I left most of his presents, thought you’d like watching him open them.”

“Cheers.” 

When they’re just in the door he tells him to take off his coat, flashing him what he hopes is a confident smile.

“Seb! There’s a present here for you bug.” The rapid footsteps aren’t unexpected, only slowing when he reaches their deathtrap of a staircase. He hears Robert’s breath catch behind him as Seb comes into view. “Look who’s here.”

The second it takes for Seb to recognise him is agonisingly long, but then he takes the last two steps in a leap before flying towards Robert.

“Daddy!” Robert doesn’t say anything just picks him up and holds him, eyes closed like he’s drinking in every detail. Aaron just watches, swiping at his eyes with his sleeve. 

“I knew it.” Seb mumbles into Robert’s shoulder.

“What’s that bug?” He moves a bit closer, his hand automatically resting between Robert’s shoulder blades like it used to.

“I knew Santa could grant my wish. I knew he’d bring Daddy home!”

“What do you mean?” Robert asks, letting him go and crouching beside him.

“When Daddy took me to see Santa at the shop. He asked what I wanted the mostest for Christmas and I said I wanted you back, and he did it. You came home.”

Aaron doesn’t bother stopping the tears this time, while Robert seems speechless, until Seb throws his arms around him and then his own tears start flowing.

“Yeah, I did. I’m sorry I couldn’t come home before.”

“S’ok. Daddy said you wanted to, lots and lots but you had to stay where you were.”

“Yeah, but Daddy Aaron looked after you didn’t he?”

“He’s the best.” Robert laughs and looks up at Aaron, eyes bright. “Did you bring me some presents?”

Aaron just rolls his eyes and laughs as Robert assures Seb he did and goes to fetch them from the door. 

*****

Later that night when Seb’s in bed, against his very loud protests because he wanted to stay with Daddy Robert, Aaron comes downstairs to see Robert putting his coat on. Vic had taken Harry home hours ago and it had been just the three of them, playing with Seb’s new toys and watching Toy Story because  _ ‘it’s my favourite Daddy’ _ . Aaron had spent more time watching the two of them than the film, cuddled up on the sofa together, chocolate wrappers growing in number as the time ticked by. It was like Robert had never been away.

“You’re leaving?”

“I...Seb’s in bed so I thought…”

“You don’t have to. Thought we could have a beer. Maybe talk some more.” Robert nods, shrugging his coat back off. 

“Thanks, for today.” He says as they sit back down. “I had fun.”

“You don’t need to thank me. He’s your son.”

“I didn’t mean just that.” Aaron just blinks at him, doesn’t know what he’s talking about. “Vic ran out of brandy butter and went over to the pub to fetch some. She heard you and your Mum.”

“Oh.” He shifts uncomfortably. His mum, as predicted, had quite a lot to say when he’d taken Seb over. Seb hadn’t waited two seconds before telling her that his Daddy was home as he’d predicted and she’d had to have her say.

“You didn’t have to do that, defend me.”

“Yeah, I did. I should’ve done it long before now. She’s got no room sayin’ anything about you, not after some of the stunts she’s pulled over the years. No one in my family does. You did the world a favour if you ask me, and if it hadn’t been for that coward Luke, you would’ve probably been home long before now.”

“Still left you didn’t I? Broke your heart.” He mumbles, staring down at his feet.

“Yeah, you did, and I might yell at you some more one day, but it’s done. No point bringing up the past all the time.”

“You’ve changed you know.” He laughs, relieved when he notices Robert relaxing back into the chair. He’s been on edge all day except when he was watching the film with Seb, and he’s happy he feels comfortable enough to relax now.

“Not really, just realised that you can’t control everything, sometimes you just have to let things go.” He looks down, biting his lip trying to work out how to ask the next question. “Was it...did anyone...I mean…”

“Nothing happened.” Robert reaches over, stops his fist from clenching. “I kept my head down as best I could.”

“You know, if you need to talk…” He nods but doesn’t say anything.

“So, what have you and Seb got planned for the rest of the holiday?”

“Not much. He wants to go to the panto in Hotten but I don’t know if there’s any tickets left. I could have a look, you can come with us if you want?”

“I’d really like that. I’m not here to take over you know...you’re his Dad, you call the shots. I wouldn’t take him from you.”

“No, we’re both his Dad. Anyway, why would you take him from me...are you going anywhere?”

“What, no! At least, only Vic’s.”

“You don’t have to...go I mean. You could always stay here.” He can’t look at him when he says it, doesn’t want to see the rejection if it comes.

“Aaron…”

“I mean, if you don’t want me, it’s fine.” He gets to his feet, needs to move, can feel his cheeks growing hot. He should never have said anything.

“Aaron, wait. Of course I do. Are you mad? Why wouldn’t I want you?” He turns back, and Robert’s right there. “I love you.”

“You...you do?” 

“Of course I do. It was never about not loving you. I told you, I didn’t want you wasting your life away on me and I know you would, you made that clear last night. But...isn’t it a bit fast?”

“When have we ever taken anything slow?” He laughs a little, happiness running through him at Robert’s words. “We’ve lost enough time thanks to that family, and I’m not wasting another minute.” He’d made a decision after he’d put Seb to bed, had taken the box from his bedside drawer, not knowing if he’d do anything about it or not but now he knows.

“I didn’t get you a present, obviously, and definitely not six, but I do have something.” He reaches into his pocket. “I reckon it’s about time you had this back, don’t you?” He holds out the ring towards Robert, biting his lip.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I meant what I said, I’m not wasting any more time.” Finally Robert moves, taking the ring from him and sliding it onto his finger, staring at it as if he can’t believe it, before taking the other from the box and doing the same to Aaron.

“You’re amazing.” He scoffs. “No, you are. I don’t know what I’ve ever done to deserve you, after everything I’ve put you through you still love me, still want me.”

“Yeah I do, and of course I love you, never stopped. Come home Robert. Come home to us.” He’s barely finished speaking when Robert’s kissing him, arms wrapping around him, pulling him close.

He’s not sure but it might just be the best Christmas he’s ever had. Maybe it wouldn’t be as easy as it seemed. They’d likely argue and say things they don’t mean as they get back to where they were, but they could do it, he knew they could. They were together again, a family, and that was all he cared about. Everything else could wait.


End file.
